'The Diagonal Steam Trap' Poem - Jimmy Ellis

Now they built a big ship down in Harland's She was made for to sell to the Turks - And they called on the Yard's chief designer To design all the engines and works. Now finally the engines was ready And they screwed in the very last part An' yer man says 'Let's see how she runs, lads! An' bejasus! the thing wouldn't start! So they pushed and they worked an' they footered An' the engineers' faces got red The designer he stood lookin' stupid An' scratchin' the back o' his head. But while they were fiddlin' and workin' Up danders oul' Jimmie Dalzell He had worked twenty years in the 'Island' And ten in the 'aircraft' as well. So he pushed and he worked and he muttered Till he got himself through to the front And he has a good look roun' the engine An' he gives a few mutters and grunts, And then he looks up at the gaffer An' says he 'Mr Smith, d'ye know? They've left out the Diagonal Steam Trap! How the hell d'ye think it could go?' Now the engineer eyed the designer The designer he looks at the 'hat' And they whispered the one to the other Diagonal Steam Trap? What's that?' But the Gaffer, he wouldn't admit, like To not knowin' what this was about, So he says 'Right enough, we were stupid! The Diagonal Steam Trap's left out!' Now in the meantime oul' Jimmie had scarpered Away down to throw in his boord And the Gaffer comes up and says 'Jimmy! D'ye think we could have a wee word. Ye see that Diagonal Steam Trap? I know it's left out - it's bad luck But the engine shop's ...



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